Saturday, September 11, 2010

Newlyweds Become Oldyweds

Someone once said, “Newlyweds become oldyweds, and oldyweds are the reasons that families work.” I love this saying. My husband and I just celebrated 32 years of marriage, so I guess you could call us “oldyweds.” It hardly seems possible that so many years have already gone by since we, as teenagers, made vows to each other to love and to cherish one another, to be faithful to each other, to hold each other up in bad times as well as good times; you know, in prosperity and adversity, in sickness and in health and all that. As we gazed into each other’s clear eyes, full lips, and unwrinkled faces, we looked forward to all those good times.

We had no idea on that day that any of those “bad times” would ever actually appear in our marriage. We have had a joyful, rich, and loving 32 years, filled with children, grandchildren, and so many wonderful experiences, but it has not always been smooth sailing. We found out, after about a week, that it was really hard work! There have been times when we didn’t know if we would make it or not. We both agree that it has only been by the grace of God that we have made it and, during those times when we didn’t cling to each other, if we hadn’t stayed faithful to the Lord we would be just another statistic. We love what Ecclesiastes 4:12 says,

“Two people can accomplish more than twice as much as one; they get a better return for their labor. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help…a person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken” (NLT).

That is our challenge to you. If one of you is falling, reach out and help; stand back-to-back and fight for your marriage. Allow God to be the third cord in your union, so that it will not be easily broken.

One way you can strengthen that cord is to go on regular dates- without kids or “to-do” lists. I was recently at a conference and learned a new concept. Why not write a “Not to Do” list? It could be fun. Here are some things I put on my “Not to Do” list:

1. Don’t talk about the kids or grandkids while on our date.

2. Don’t bring my “To Do” list on our date.

3. Don’t worry so much about getting everything on my “To Do” list done.

4. Don’t turn down dessert.

5. Don’t waste too much time on Facebook

Another way is to click on the link below and listen to Dr. Gary and Barb Rosberg coach you in ways to go to a deeper and more intimate level with your mate. It only takes about a half hour and you will gain new ways to connect.

Click HERE to view September’s Date with a Purpose - "Allergic to Your Spouse”

More thoughts on Marriage

The bonds of matrimony are like any other bonds - they mature slowly. ~Peter De Vries

Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads, which sew people together through the years. ~Simone Signoret

Success in marriage does not come merely through finding the right mate, but through being the right mate. ~Barnett R. Brickner

A long marriage is two people trying to dance a duet and two solos at the same time. ~Anne Taylor Fleming

One advantage of marriage is that, when you fall out of love with him or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until you fall in again. ~Judith Viorst

You can never be happily married to another until you get a divorce from yourself. Successful marriage demands a certain death to self. ~Jerry McCant

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. ~Mignon McLaughlin

In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage. ~Robert Anderson, Solitaire & Double Solitaire

There is no such cozy combination as man and wife. ~Menander

One of the good things that come of a true marriage is, that there is one face on which changes come without your seeing them; or rather there is one face which you can still see the same, through all the shadows which years have gathered upon it. ~George MacDonald

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