Friday, June 5, 2015

10 Questions to Ask Before Getting Married (or Engaged)

This is a little side blog in the middle of my thoughts on Dr. Chapman's book. In order to have The Marriage You've Always Wanted, you need to marry the right person for YOU. You also need to BE the right person for somebody else. Something to think about before you are

Seriously Dating or Engaged

That’s the name of the program I use when taking couples through premarital counseling. This program has helped countless couples prepare for marriage and was put together by Roger Tirabassi. Consider Roger’s 3 Keys to Great Relationships:

First: Grow in Knowledge.

Begin with yourself! Ask yourself the following 10 questions:

1. Who is the most important person in my life and why?
2. If I could only accomplish one thing the rest of my life what would it be?
3. Would I say I am an emotionally healthy person?  What steps do I feel I should take to become more emotionally healthy?
4. What are 5 positive traits I bring to a relationship?
5. What are 5 negative traits I bring to a relationship?
6. What is my relationship with money (good and bad)?
7. What is my relationship with food (good and bad)? 

8. What is my relationship with work (good and bad)?
9. What is my relationship with God (good and bad)?

10. What is my relationship with friends (good and bad)?

Second: Become a Skilled Listener.

If you struggle with empathy or patience--two important components of a great relationship--try these tips: 

1. Don't use "never" or "always."
2. Don't blame or shame.
3. Don't interrupt.

Third: Make Safe Decisions.

Don't make impulsive decisions or statements when you are upset or angry. Your words hurt. They can't be erased easily. Take a short "time out" and prayerfully consider what to say.

After considering these questions and suggestions, tell us how this was beneficial to you. And if you are getting married anytime soon, and considering Premarital Counseling, contact me through my website if you would like to go through this program. 

There are still a few spots left if you are interested in attending our Seven Principles For Making Marriage Work Class this summer. For more info, check out my website at

And look for us on Facebook at

Next time: Back to what Dr. Gary Chapman says about having The Marriage You've Always Wanted

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